The 100th Anniversary of Hebei University: HBU Moments

Hei Ma's Memories of Back-Translation of The Yellow Storm

Bi Bingbin

The author graduated from the English Department of Hebei University in 1977. He is a translator and writer. He was an editor, journalist and translator working for publishing houses and television stations. He is a senior translator. He has published more than ten translations of Lawrence's works under the pseudonym of Hei Ma, and several novels and essays such as Killing Time in Beijing.

In 2017, I had the opportunity to translate the lost manuscript of Lau Shaw's masterpiece The Yellow Storm (Si Shi Tong Tang) back into Chinese for publication, which is a great luck for me. The translation in recent months can be said to be "a game and a dream", a game of replacing words and searching for possible old Beijing dialect, a dream of returning to life in old Beijing 80 years ago. I "acted as" Lau Shaw and spent some time with the people in the old Beijing Xiaoyangquan Hutong in the book.

The Fate of The Yellow Storm

At the beginning of 2017, I saw the news on the Internet that the novel The Yellow Storm had been fully translated into English in the United States before the Chinese version was fully published. It was an English translation dictated by Lau Shaw and typed by American translator Pruitt Ida on a typewriter. The cooperative translation between Lau Shaw and Pruitt Ida should be the best example of literary translation unless the author himself has the ability to translate his works into foreign languages. I believe they will have some discussions in the translation and reach a tacit understanding before finalizing. This means that the author participates in the translation to the maximum extent, knows the English translation well, and can control the English translation to a certain extent, thus ensuring the faithfulness of the translation to the original. This model is even better than the cooperative translation between Yang Xianyi and Gladys Yang because they cooperate to translate other people's works, while Lau Shaw and Pruitt Ida translate Lau Shaw's own works.

Unfortunately, the whole book The Yellow Storm was severely abridged when it was published in the United States, and its title was changed to "The Yellow Storm". This abridged version should be said to be very regrettable. Many works have such experiences when they are translated into foreign languages for publication, especially long works are abridged. Other translators even rewrite the original. For example,It is said that the end of the English version of Camel Xiangzi was added by American translators. Strictly speaking, abridgement will cause great losses to the novel, while rewriting is against professional ethics unless the original author agrees with the translator's rewriting. In other words, the Yellow Storm read by readers in the English-speaking world is an abridged translation of The Yellow Storm.

More unfortunately, Lau Shaw never published the last 16 chapters of the Chinese manuscript before his death. After the "Cultural Revolution" broke out, the unpublished manuscript of 16 chapters was lost in property acquisition. Later, Lau Shaw threw himself into the water without cause, and the manuscript was never found again. The last 30,000 words at the end of The Yellow Storm published later were the back-translation according to the English section translation published in the United States, which was compressed from these 16 chapters and 100,000 words. It looks quite like a story outline, so the novel is a remnant. If we can find all the English versions of the 16 chapters and translate them back, there is no doubt that their value is far better than the abridged and fragmented translation of more than 30,000 words. However, in the past 70 years, the full translation of Lau Shaw and Pruitt Ida into English has not appeared, and it seems that the possibility of appearing is very small.

However, such a miracle actually happened recently: the complete English translation of The Yellow Storm was found in American university libraries. Therefore, the complete English translation of the last 16 chapters has been copied and brought back to China. After translation, The Yellow Storm finally published, replacing the original 30,000-byte translation. It is the English translation closest to the spirit of Lau Shaw's original work because he personally participated in the translation into English. Unless Lau Shaw's last 16 chapters of Chinese manuscripts are found in the future (it seems that this is not completely impossible), such a supplementary translation and the original Lau Shaw's Chinese manuscripts should be the most ideal and complete version at present.

Take Orders to “act as Law Shaw”

Seeing such news, I, a lover of Law Shaw's works, naturally feel very happy. In the previous book recommendation activities in the newspaper, I listed Law Shaw as my favorite Chinese writer first. I also wondered, who would get such an opportunity to translate for Law Shaw? I also look forward to reading these last 16 chapters, so as to fully appreciate and learn Law Shaw's works and study the Chinese-English translation skills of American translators. But I never thought that the glorious task of back translation would fall on me. So one day, when Ms. Ma Ainong of People's Literature Publishing House telephoned me on behalf of the publisher to ask if I was willing to take on this important task, I was surprised and honored, and instinctively agreed to say yes without thinking.

Saying yes is not an impulsive move, nor is it just because I love Law Shaw's works, but I think I am fully prepared for this education and practical experience on the basis of love. I have translated and published millions of words of English literary works, and I am also engaged in the creation of novels and essays. There are some Beijing-style literary works such as Killing Time in Beijing and Beneath the Golden Hill of Beijing. With such qualifications, I should be competent to undertake this job.

But when it comes to translation, this translation is different from the previous English translation. In the words of Mr. Yang Jiang, a senior, translation is one servant and two masters. The translator should not only be faithful to the original work, fully understand the original author's intentions, understand its narrative style, and be "faithful", but also be responsible to the target language readers, so as to make the translation smooth and accessible, that is, to achieve "expressiveness". However, this "back translation" has added a third "master" in addition to one servant and two masters, that is, the narrative style of the translation should be closer to most of the novels in front of Mr. Law Shaw, and the character language should follow the style of the old Beijing dialect. This requires a correct understanding of the original English text and a correct conveyance of the meaning of the English manuscript. English understanding cannot be wrong. Then, on the basis of accurate translation and within the framework of the meaning of the English text, the translator should "act as Law Shaw", tell the story in the tone of Law Shaw he understands as much as possible, and convey the dialogues of various people in the Beijing dialect he is familiar with.

Of course, this is not to say that a correct Putonghua base should be translated first, and then Beijing dialect should be polished. These two steps are not completely separated. When it is really done, it should be done in two steps and one step at a time, and it should “act as Law Shaw” at any time.

So I took the time to review The Yellow Storm and drew out the words with the characteristics of old Beijing for my reference. Only then did I begin to translate.

Restore Idioms and Proverbs and Maintain Beijing Rhyme

Originally, it was thought that according to the events in traditional novel, there would be several climaxes or a very shocking story at the end of The Yellow Storm. But what I didn't expect was that it ended with a long letter from Mr. Qian, an old poet who was detained by the Japanese aggressors for the second time, tortured by them and separated from his wife and children, which is rare in long novels, and it is even rarer for this war novel with a time span of several years that its ending is so plain and profound. Moreover, there are no vigorous war scenes in other chapters, which are about the experiences of ordinary residents in Beiping Xiaoyangquan Hutong during the war and engaging in underground anti-Japanese propaganda work, and also about some ugly performances of traitors or middle figures. With its leisurely narrative tone, it shows the sincere and delicate feelings of the people at the bottom, satirize the traitors and foreign slaves, and finally ended with Qian Poet's open letter about the concept of war and peace. Such an ending may pose a new challenge to Law Shaw's researchers, and there are also new and unique features in the novel. This leisurely narrative style is consistent with the previously published parts. The daily words of the old Beijingers, including the villains, should also be the expression of the old Beijing dialect. In terms of style, these 16 chapters can be in line with the previous ones.

With such a feeling and grasp of the overall style, as a translator, my task is the two levels mentioned earlier: The English translation is the only basis. Therefore, it is necessary to thoroughly understand the English version. You can't think too simply of seemingly simple sentences (such as a story that is widely spread at present, Law Shaw wrote very carefully about the shortage of meat shops in Peiping at that time. Businessmen hid meat in cardboard boxes and sold it bit by bit. However, the person who said this must have read the wrong word when reading the English manuscript and took the cupboard for granted as a cardboard box, which distorted the basic plot of the novel), and could not take it for granted to play and "rewrite" at will. On the basis of correct understanding, we should consider the Beijing accent and rhyme of the novel, so that the translation has Law Shaw's rhyme and style.

What impressed me most about the English version is that many Chinese sayings and idioms are translated literally, which looks clear at a glance. As long as you are familiar with these proverbs and idioms, it is easy to restore them to Chinese. This reminds me of the reason why Law Shaw adopted literal translation with the translator. Is there Law Shaw's special intention in it? That is to let these expressions with Chinese characteristics enter the original version, so that English readers can understand the Chinese expressions and appreciate the charm of Chinese. This method was later interpreted by textbooks as the "alienation" of translation, that is, partial or complete literal translation, giving the target language readers a strong intuitive feeling, from which they can feel exotic colors and emotional appeal, and even over time such words can gradually enter English. For example, many directly translated Chinese expressions have successfully entered the English lexicon. For example, "huge crowds of people" is literally translated as people mountain, people sea;; "ask for the trouble and get it" is No zuo no die;; Even "Z-turn" is simply zheteng. It is estimated that Law Shaw had such considerations in those days. When Mr. Zhu Guangqian wrote to Law Shaw to comment on Law Shaw's translation of The Apple Cart, he said that there are some places in Law Shaw's translation, "the literal translation are quite prominent. Therefore, I can't help but predict your translation principles. I guess there are no more than two kinds: one is to follow the original text carefully, follow the same trend and never leave; The other is to boldly try new styles and absorb western vocabulary and grammar to enrich Chinese. Zhu's guess is reasonable. In the specific translation, many of us have also tried to properly preserve the original style of the original work in order to enrich the expression of the target language. Specifically, Law Shaw used many literal translation methods when translating his works into English, which is similar to his method of translating English into Chinese.

Such examples abound in the last 16 chapters. Of course, this also tests the translator's abilities. That is whether English can reflect the corresponding Chinese idioms or colloquial sayings. If he fails to respond or lacks Chinese literacy, the translation may be lengthy and verbose. For example: … your bowels to burst and your brains to be scattered, you should think of "could do anything" instead of "scattered brain and rupture of intestine"; A woman of the world should think of "sophisticated women" instead of "women in the world"; Like a body and its shadow is very closely associated with each other, not " just like a body and its shadow"; Both courageous and intelligent should be "people with both bravery and wisdom", which cannot be translated as " courageous and clever".

There are also some sentences that are completely literal translated; I believe we can see the original Chinese text at a glance from the English; Such literal translation should be said to be an intuitive and fresh expression for readers of English mother tongue, from which we can appreciate the meaning of Chinese, such as: We cheat ours and cheat others means deceiving ourselves and others; ... palaces with their ancient colours and fragrances means of antique beauty; … seem to have crossed out with one stroke of the pen is to wipe out the past. To turn the rudder when the wind changed is weathercock, etc.

As for the restoration of Beijing dialect in narrative language and character dialogue, I will keep some expressions of Law Shaw in front, such as "welcoming the time", "movie garden" and "whispering nose". Most of the time, it is expressed according to the expressions I know well in Beijing dialect. For example, "green face" describes Lan Dongyang's embarrassed and sullen face, which is full of yellow teeth and can be shivering (in Beijing Spoken Chinese Dictionary, the word is 口+歹), indicating that teeth shiver. In addition, "shivering", "no way", "bloody spoon", "prostitute", "Lively", "Your life is in my palm", "If this is in the past", "touch "I feel like I am soaked in clothes", "My tongue seems to be numb and I can't move", "hard ", etc. These are all daily expressions in Beijing dialect. Using them to replace those Mandarin with stable grammar and correct grammar, at least with Beijing characteristics, can make readers feel the close connection between this text and Beijing. Although Law Shaw did not necessarily use these words at the beginning, I still want to make some efforts on "Beijing characteristics", instead of just being satisfied with translating English into grammatically correct Mandarin texts.

In a word, this kind of translation is very valuable. The process of back-translation is equivalent to writing in Beijing dialect, which is also a great promotion to my future Beijing-style literary writing. For this reason, I would like to thank this precious opportunity, which is indeed a rare opportunity.